What is wrong with me?

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8, NASB)

One night, after I tucked my son into bed I headed out the front door for a walk. I could hear my husband still in the process of saying good night to our daughter as I closed the door behind me. I enjoyed a beautiful, quiet walk and was not surprised to find my husband watching TV when I had returned 30 minutes later. He told me what happened as he was tucking in our little girl.

He said there had been nothing different or unusual about the routine they were doing.  They read a book, said prayers, and sang songs. Then, all of a sudden, during a song she began to cry.

He couldn’t understand and had to ask her, “Honey, what is the matter?”

Sobbing a little tiny sob she replied, “I don’t know Daddy. Could you go get Mommy?  Maybe she will know what is wrong with me.”

Of course by the time I was back, she was fast asleep. What I think is amazing is she thought I could help her figure out the mystery emotion.

How many times is God the last person I turn to when I am emotional? It is ironic because He is the only one I should be looking to for help answering the question, “What is wrong with me?”

I have the Holy Spirit to guide me and help draw me closer to God and in turn He will draw closer to me. When I am depending on my human spirit I am stepping away from God but when I am allowing the Holy Spirit to lead in my life I am drawn closer to Him.

Lord, please help me to drop the double-minded reliance I have on You and my human spirit. Remind me that as I draw near to You, You will draw near to me and that is all I need.